Joy!

Isn't it just a little bit ironic how you can be unhappy yet full of joy at the same time? Well, that's how my entire weekend has been. I believe it's because joy and happiness, while often used interchangeably, are really two completely different things.

There are things that make me happy. A foo-foo coffee, a good book, a good movie, a night out with friends. But, joy... that's from within. It's something that makes up the person you are, the actions you take, the words you speak. I have joy even though I don't feel really happy right now. It's amazing.

This weekend started with a Friday off work so that I could just catch up on some rest. I hadn't been sleeping well and I just needed to sleep. I did. It was great. I found myself a bit lonely on Friday, but I knew what was coming the next day and it helped to keep my spirits in check.

Saturday morning I was host to a houseful of ladies for our church Ladies Ministry monthly meeting. You see, a few months ago, God was really talking to me, trying to explain why we needed a ladies ministry so badly. Don't get me wrong, I was in complete agreement. We did need one. However, the second part of God's talk with me was that He wanted ME to lead it! Uhm, I'm sorry, what? God -- I know You're all knowing and all that, but I think You might have this one a little mixed up. I spent a lot of time praying about it and then I eventually poured out my feelings in a letter to my pastor, which recently led to the development of our new ladies ministry! Obedience, right? Got it!

So, Saturday morning was wonderful to say the least. We ate and drank coffee, played a great get to know you game, drew names for prayer sisters, and, best of all, played the Yarn Game. Oh. Have you ever done this? I wish I knew where I first saw the idea, but I can't remember. Here are the basics:

Start with all the ladies sitting in a circle with one lady holding the end of a ball of yarn. The woman with the yarn will tell something about herself, it can be as or as little personal as she likes. Then anyone who has that in common raises their hand and the first woman passes the ball of yarn to one of the women who raised her hand. In some cases, there may be several women who raise their hand, just choose one. Then, whoever is holding the ball does the same thing, says something about herself, then passes the yarn. In the end, all the women are holding pieces of this yarn and we are all connected. We all have something in common. We're all provided to one another, by God, to be there for each other. Whew. I learned a lot of interesting things, but I saw a lot of hurt too. It was a great opportunity to pray for each woman sitting in my living room, one at a time. The verses I referenced were 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

Later that day, I was able to get my house put back together and even color my hair before I was off for a night with my friends. This was a little bittersweet since the night's been planned for a few weeks because we were planning a birthday celebration for my no-longer sweetie. However, instead of cancelling, I went anyway and I'm so glad I did. We had a wonderful time! We saw "The Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and I laughed, cried, got scared, and was mad throughout the movie. I liked it! Then, we had a great dinner at Union Jacks in Winchester. I love that place. It's like an English Pub smack in the middle of Northern VA! =]

On to Sunday, church. Oh, I love my church. I can't say that enough. I LOVE MY CHURCH! =] While at church, I was prepared to put all my hurt from the week aside and just worship God. I did pretty all right. When we sang Majesty, I may have lost it just a little bit. But I recovered quickly! But it was what happened when I was leaving church that allowed me to see just another way God loves me.

During church, I was given two envelopes. When I got to my car, okay, I was already driving down the road, and I opened the envelopes to see what was in them. The first was a card. This song was playing on the radio and I was right at the part that says "But You love me anyway. It's like nothing in life that I've ever known. Yes, You love me anyway. Oh, Lord, how You love me." So inside the card was written a very sweet message along with a small monetary gift to me with instructions to do something FOR ME with it. Really, God? So, now I have to pull over.

The second envelope. Sigh. I have to backtrack to yesterday for a minute... the ladies are going on a mini-retreat to see Beth Moore in Baltimore, MD. The cost is minimal, but when someone has very little disposable income, like me right now, every little bit counts. I wrote my check out, asked if it could be cashed after Thursday so I knew the funds would be available. It was no problem. So, back to the second envelope. Inside was my check with a note saying "Here is your check back because someone has sponsored you for the event."

Can someone please tell me why you WOULDN'T believe that God is in control of EVERYTHING!?

I've written a lot. I could write a lot more. My heart is full of JOY -- deep down, Holy Spirit JOY! And, I hope, if you're reading this, you can understand what that joy is all about. If you can't, let me know... I'll tell you all about my Jesus. =]